Twelve days till Cactus Rose.
So many details remain to be worked out. So many thoughts to be reconciled before the signal to start is given.
I feel silly some days for how I go on and on about this event. I know quite a few people who run ultras and barely make a peep about it. Like Barry Sanders scoring touchdowns - act like you've been there before, and expect to get back.
However, I don't know that that feels like.
I know what it feels like to run a marathon. I've had only two official finishes, but it seems as though I run them for breakfast. I recall that within the first three miles of Lumberjack I was enamored with the idea of an ultra. Until that moment I had hardcore, awake-at-night dreams of running the New York City Marathon. Cruising into Central Park on a Sunday in November seems like the pinnacle of what I hoped to achieve in running, especially since I hoped to qualify for the even. I don't believe in lotteries and wanted to make my own luck.
Then I set foot on the trail. I tasted the wildness of nature; being alone with nothing but my thoughts for hours on end as if I were the only man on earth. Then I gulped hard on the pain of stopping short.
I DNF'd my first marathon. I had to stop due to unbearable physical pain. I was angry at myself and angry at anyone and everything on the planet for several days though pictures from the time may show differently. Lumberjack ended on a sour note, but it was noticeably free of anger. There was plenty of emotion, but anger was not one of them. I knew this was were I wanted to be.
For me the marathon was about speed and the medal. The ultra marathon is about something different. I know I can run a marathon with short notice. It may take 3:30 or maybe 4:30, but I can give you the miles if I get twelve hours to be ready. One hundred miles is different. There is no guarantee I will finish. Hell, with the course topography in the Texas hill country there is no guarantee I'll finish the first loop. However, if I finish the fourth loop I may learn a few things I would never know after twenty six point two.
I may talk a lot and say some thoroughly stupid shit at time, but I'd rather let it out than keep it bottled up.
In twelve days I plan to let my legs, lungs and heart do the talking.
#DoEpicShit - Whatever you do, make your effort EPIC.